Prince of Freaks
by Neo-Dracula
Summary: His estranged little brother was a hero. He wasn't. This is the story of Finn's older brother, and his escapades on the surface world.
1. Prince of the Sewers

**Theme for this story is 'Kill the Sound' by Celldweller. Not that you have to listen to it while reading, its just what I recommend.**

* * *

They would call him a savage... a filthy animal. A freak. Which was somewhat ironic, considering he was nearly a pure-blooded human, while they were mutated to hell and back, barley resembling their human ancestors.

But his simple, uneducated, twelve year old mind wouldn't be able to comprehend the concept of irony. Or any concept, for that matter, save for his natural sense of exploration and the basic desire to survive in the cruel, frightening world. Sometimes these two desires overlapped and he would sneak to the surface to find adventures and a tasty meal, much to the chagrin of his mother. But no matter how much the surface people jeered, mocked, or threw stones at him, or how his mother would scold him in their simplistic language, he would always return to feel the cool breeze against his back, the tickle of grass on his toes, and the warm kiss of the sun on his face.

'A dirty human', they would call him, even though he had no idea what that was. Down in the sewers where he lived, the native language didn't go past a few grunts and basic words such as 'food', or 'sleep'.

Speaking of food, that was what the young human was looking for. Sometimes, when a food source wasn't available, a warrior would have to scout further into the murky sewers in order to find a new food source, be it a nest of some sewer mutant or a large gathering of edible fungi.

His families particular mutant gene gave them enhanced speed, strength, and pain-tolerance, without losing their human appearance. Of course, to the primitive sewer people, this simply meant that his family had neither gills nor feathers, but could bust more heads than the average warrior. On a culture that decided who was important by how much food he or she could gather, this made his lineage the top clan of the entire peoples.

This made him, in a way, a prince. The young hunter knew what this was, he had learned on one of his trips to the surface.

'_Prince... of sewers.'_ he thought to himself as he plodded through the filthy water, the rusty pipe he had brought along with him clasped tightly in his small hand.

It might seem irresponsible to let a young boy wander through the sewers to look for a new source of food. But he was a natural born fighter. He had killed countless numbers of four-eyed gators, giant wasps, and octopus-like creatures with his bare-hands. But, he wasn't skilled enough to handle what he would come across that day.

The young human gasped and smiled when he came across a huge gathering of white fungus. Of course, no one had a name for it, but he knew it was his favorite non-meat.

He turned around, ready to head back to his home and alert the community of his wonderful find. That's when he saw it. A figure, of some sort, padding through the filthy water from a tunnel opposite through the way he came.

The boy raised his rusty pipe, ready to attack the mysterious figure. That's when it raised up some sort of stick, and the next thing the little sewer prince knew, his muscles where contracting, his head felt like it was being split open from the inside out, and an unbearable pain ran throughout his body.

He gave a pathetic squeak in place of a cry for help, and everything started to go white. He dropped his make-shift weapon, falling over face first into the muck of the sewers he called home.

* * *

The mysterious figure loomed over the unconscious boy. He had on light, black armor and wore a gas-mask. In his hands was an advanced tazer gun. The man crouched over, pulling the boy out of the muck.

He propped him up against the cracked sewer wall, taking in the sewer dweller's appearance. He was defiantly a humanoid, having pale, pasty white skin. He had a thin, yet muscular frame, and was clothed in nothing but a black loin-cloth and a skinned wolf-pelt hat, which sat upon his head, some golden blond locks peaking out from under it.

He lifted up his gloved hand, pulling it off and exposing his purple hand. He pinched the boy's wrist and smiled from underneath his gas-mask.

He gently put his hand atop the boy's hat, almost shaking with excitement, "Glad you're still alive, little man. You could make me some serious dough and get me in a cozy spot with the boss, if you're really a human..."

He yanked it off, eager to see if he really was a human. Seeing no gills or other sort of mutated feature the man jumped for joy.

"Oh, thank you Glob Almighty!"

He hoisted the boy over his shoulder, eagerly walking back to the nearest hatch and return to base and collect his paycheck.

* * *

The Sewer Prince's eyes creaked open. He was awake, but simply didn't have the energy to fight against the thing that was carrying him to his doom, thinking for sure he would be the creature's dinner.

That's what the youth expected, of course. In his simple world, creature's killed simply out of the will to eat and survive. He had no concept of currency, much the less the concept of some one killing for it. Neither did he expect anyone would kill for a grudge, for a cause they believed in, or simply because they felt like it.

He could hear the thing making... sounds. Humming, as the surface people call it. His mother often did it when she was making dinner or skinning an animal.

His mother... what would she think? What would he do without that tall, imposing, yet gentle woman running her hands through his blond locks, without her cat-hat rubbing against his own wolf-hat?

And his father? His father perished shortly after they found his mother was pregnant. He remembered he was a mountain of a man with a brown beard, and warriors were everything to him. If there was really a great beyond, from where his father was watching his growth how ashamed would he be...?

And... his brother. He hadn't come into existence yet, but his mother had already woven him an adorable white bear hat.

With the memories of his family running through his mind, it finally dawned on him... he was on top of the food chain! Not this... invader! He was the predator, not the prey!

"YOU NO EAT ME!" screamed the boy, a rush of adrenaline coursing through his veins, "I EAT YOU!"

The human sunk his teeth into the kidnapper's shoulder, but the man gave no response but a laugh.

"What's wrong, kid? My armored padding to tough for ya?" he asked sarcastically, before throwing the boy against a nearby wall.

The young human looked up, seeing the looming figure crack his knuckles.

"Sorry..." whispered the boy to his mother and unborn brother, hoping somehow, someway, they would hear him, before he felt a fist crash into the side of his head, sending back into the darkness...


	2. Your New Home

The young human was awoken by a harsh, blinding light hitting him. He scrambled up, noticing he was completely naked.

He quickly looked around the room. It had to be the cleanest area he had ever been in, completely white and void of any furnishing. He didn't even see a door. The only three objects that prevented it from being a totally empty room were a large, one-way window, the light bulb casting the light down on him, and a speaker built into the wall, directly under the window. Of course, he only had vaguest understanding of light bulbs, let alone one-ways windows or speakers. Needless to say, he was frightened. The room was decidedly chill, and it gave the young boy a feeling of isolation and helplessness.

Suddenly, a voice rang out through the room, "Are you a human, boy?"

The boy didn't answer. He had heard the term human to describe him, but by this point, he found it little more than an insult. The man over the speaker sighed, "Cat got your tongue? Fine. We know you're a human, so that was a rhetorical question. Can you even understand what I'm saying?"

No answer. The disembodied voice clicked his tongue, "OK then... name?"

Still, no answer. The man, sounding irritated, asked again, "Name. What do they call you...?"

The boy remained silent, quietly backing up against the wall. Whoever was speaking to him was now clearerly upset, "OK, this confirms my suspicions; you're a mindless beast. I'm not even sure why I'm bothering to speak to right now... guards! Come contain the subject!"

The human was finally fed up with the noise and rushed at the window, where he was guessing the voice was emanating. He jumped up, slamming into the black glass, shoulder first. He merely bounced off, however, and landed on the cold, hard ground.

"Oh my..." said the voice, "... be careful, boys. Looks like we have a feisty one on our hands."

Suddenly, right next to the black glass, a portion of the wall seemed to sink into the ground, leaving a rectangular hole. Out of it stepped two men dressed similarly to the one who kidnapped him.

One man held a net, the other a sparking cattle-prod. The boy backed up, swallowing a lump in his throat, prepared to fight back... needless to say, he left that room with several broken bones and nasty burns.

* * *

The man who was interrogating the boy sighed, pouring himself a cup of tea. He picked it up, bringing it to his whiskers for a sip.

He was a cat, to put it bluntly. A science cat, for the simple minded. But his true name was Doctor Ray Campbell. He was a chubby, orange cat who wore glasses and a lab-coat. He pressed a button in front of him, "Mr. Shark, would you kindly give me a report on the current state of affairs?"

"Well," replied a gruff voice over the pager, "-we are currently giving the boy a DNA test and physical scan to see what exactly he's capable of and how badly he's been mutated... in the meanwhile, we are prepping to send the entire batch of 'experiment 895' down into his home with the mutants. They serve no purpose to us, and they might come after him, so it would be best to wipe them out, yes?"

"It would..." agreed the cat, "-this is great, Mr. Shark. With this boy, our science institution will finally take off, and we will push this radioactive wasteland into a glorious, golden era!"

"Hold up a minute, Mr. Campbell..." said Shark, "-what of the boy? What should his name be?"

"Bah! It could be shit-nugget for all I care!"

Shark gave a throaty chuckle, "No, that's a bit distasteful... the mercenary who brought him back said he had on a wolf-hat, so how about... Wolf?"

* * *

Meanwhile, two mercenaries that worked for the science cat's institute were prepping to send the giant, cylindrical canister containing 'experiment 895' down into the hatch were the boy was found.

One solider of fortune looked at the other, "So, what's in this big-ass container anyway...? And why are we sending whatever is inside of it into the sewers?"

His comrade shrugged his shoulders, "Think they're some sorta black, slimy things... nasty claws, can hide in tight places... not pleasant, goes without saying. As for why, don't know, but that fat-ass cat has had us do crazier shit before, and as long as I'm getting paid the big bucks, I ain't complaining."

"Hey, speaking of big bucks, did you here about that kid Mike found?"

"You mean that human kid...? Damn, that Mike is one lucky bastard! I heard he got so much cash from the boss that he got to retire early!"

"I know, right?"

During their conversation, the mercenaries failed to notice that they accidental set the estimated release time to '12 years' instead of '12 hours'. Unfortunately for the people of Buetopia, the Glub-Glubs have no need for any nourishment. Just a lust for blood...

* * *

The human boy laid in his barren cell's bed, crying his eyes out. He was now clad in black shorts and nothing else.

He was as simple as could be, but he still had emotions... a heart. And that heart was aching, aching for his family. For his friends. For his home.

He then heard the door to his cell being opened. He looked over and saw a mercenary step into the cell, "C'mon, Wolf. We're gonna see what kind of metal you're made of."

* * *

The boy was being forced onto a wooden table by several mercenaries, one holding up a syringe, "Sorry kid, injection into the neck is the most unpleasant way to take cyclops tears... but it's the most effective."

With that, he jammed the syringe into the boy's neck, pressing down on the top button and injecting the serum into his body. The boy grabbed his throat, feeling like his whole body was on fire.

He rolled off the table, landing on the floor. His body twisted and contorted, but in all that pain, all of his previous injuries healed.

He stood, wiping the sweat from his fore-head. He looked over at the men, who all held up stun-rods, "So, kid, you wanna learn your lesson the hard way again...?"

The boy gulped, placing his hands behind his back. The apparent leader of the group, the one who had injected him with the tears a few moments ago, powered down, "Good boy. Now, let's go to see take you your test, Wolf."


	3. Dispersal

Wolf, or so the mercenaries and scientists had been calling them... had been at that Glob forsaken compound for about... two years? It was hard to tell, sense the only communication he received was to let him exercise, English lessons (that he promised to be a good boy if he received them,) or the scientists preforming tests on him.

His chest was practically coated in scars, some from the mercenaries 'putting him in his place' or the scientists cutting him up for their own nefarious plans.

"Still don't know what big plan is." Wolf mumbled to himself, laying back on his bed. He scratched at his remote collar that was programed to give him a shock when he misbehaved.

His cell door swung open, and in stepped a Dr. Dextrose, looking flipping through his notepad, "Oh, Wolf, my boy... our plan is nearly complete. This will probably be your last test!"

"Great..." the teen mumbled, "-you gunna kill me when done?" he said, his English skills not complete, but they were well on the way.

Dr. Dextrose laughed as if it was the most silly question in the world, "Oh, c'mon Wolf. We'll release you into the wild were you belong."

"Not animal..." the human teen grumbled, getting off his bed, "-let's do test already."

* * *

Wolf sat at the doctor's lab... he had an operating table, and a few sets of skeletons of monsters set up. Wolf felt at his collar... then felt a small keyhole. He looked up at a skeleton of some needle-toothed monster. He snapped his head over at the doctor, who was busy gathering up his surgical equipment.

Wolf acted fast. He quickly, and with light feet, ran over to the skeleton, yanking out one of it's back teeth. He quickly ran back the operating table, the marshmallow not noticing.

Wolf thought he was in the clear, but... the black shorts they had given him didn't have any pockets. The doctor whistled, and a bead of sweat rolled down Wolf's forehead.

He looked down at the tooth, '_This gonna hurt...'_

He carefully placed the tooth atop his tongue and swallowed. The doctor turned around as soon as it went past the human's esophagus.

The doctor laid him back and strapped him in, picking up a spinning blade, "Now, this may hurt a bit, but you're used to the pain, right?"

* * *

Wolf sat near his cell's toilet, and when he was sure no one was looking, he jammed his fist down his throat. He shoved it down a few times, then quickly pulled it out as he vomited all over the floor. He wiped some of the throw-up from his lips, looking down at the tooth in his half-digested, pour excuse for a meal he was severed every day.

He quickly picked up the tooth, admiring it... with any luck, it would be the key to his freedom. He stuck it into the keyhole of his collar, and with a bit of jiggling... the collar snapped off, landing on his floor with a loud clang.

Wolf pumped his fist, something he saw the mercenaries do every time something went their way... with that thing off of him, he could finally make his escape!

* * *

"GUARDS! I SICK!"

A mercenary went up to Wolf's cell, seeing the human teen lying on the floor curled up into a ball, right next to his own vomit.

The mercenary unlocked the cell, taking out his remote for the human's collar in case he tried anything fishy.

He stood over Wolf, "Okay, ya big baby. Lets get you to the infirmary."

The human flipped to his feet, "Actually, feeling better."

The guard quickly pointed his remote at Wolf, "Why you... eat this!"

The merc pressed again and again on the button... but nothing happened. That's when he noticed that the human didn't have the collar on at all. Before he had further time to elaborate on it, he felt Wolf's fist crash into the side of his head.

* * *

Spending so many years around soldiers of fortune, Wolf knew a bit about espionage. That's why he was wearing the dead guard's uniform and was walking down the halls of the compound, eager to get away from the damned place as soon as possible and sort the rest out later.

Suddenly, Wolf felt a hand on his shoulder,"Yo, Dennis! I thought you were suppose to be guarding that spaz human kid... and hey, did you get shorter?"

No sooner did that merc sat than he was back slapped against the wall. Wolf spun around, dashing down the hall.

Alarms began to ring out, and Wolf broke out in a cold sweat... but he was so close to the exit! He just needed to round the corner...

When two guards jumped in his path. He grabbed the first guards arm, yanking it out of it's socket and kneeing him in the gut.

The second guard threw a kick at the human's head, but he simply caught it and lifted the guard in the air, before hoisting him over his head and slamming the merc into the ground.

Wolf turned towards the exit again, this time making it out... outdoors. It was the middle of winter and snowing lightly. It had been too long seance he had been away from the grand majesty of it... but he couldn't stop and sight-see now. He had to run... and that's exactly what he did. He ran. And ran, and ran, his mind melting back into the primitive survival instincts of a mindless beast, until he reached a cave, where went in and collapsed from exhaustion.

* * *

Shark, quite literally a walking shark, walked up to his partner, Ray Campbell, who was relaxing in his fireside lounge-chair, located in his personal quarters. Shark cleared his throat and folded his flippers behind his back, "So, I'm sure you've heard about Wolf's escape."

"Yes," replied the orange cat, "-it was quite noisy."

"So, you're not going to do anything about it...?"

The Science Cat picked up a mug of hot chocolate and took a sip, "No. We have what we need from that crazed animal, sending our men after him will only complicate matters."


	4. Gone

First thing was first... he had to have a disguise. He couldn't imagine that if the surface dwellers hated him when he was a child, they would accept him as an adult. Of course, he refused to wear the same garb of the men who tore him away from his home, so he ripped off the sleeves off the padded armor. The pants would have to go when he found a more comfortable pair, and the gas-mask (even he could see it's purpose of hiding his human face,)and boots could stay. He tuck a few items he found strapped to the combat jacket away, including a survival knife, a few grenades (which he wasn't entirely sure how to work,) and a stun rod, which he knew very well how to work from being on the business end of it for so long.

He stalked through the plains, until he found something... a bazaar! He had learned about them on one of his many trips to the surface. He snuck in from the back, stealthily crawling over to a clothing store ran by a candy person, the same species of one of his captors. He stole a pair of jeans that looked his size, some black gloves, and a black hoodie.

Without being detected, he snuck around back, removing his armored pants. Luckily, he found some of that 'money' stuff that the mercenaries were always talking about in the pants... he quickly slipped on the jeans and tucked it into his back pocket.

He put on the gas-mask and hoodie, flipping the hood up... now he was set. His stomach growled, and he reached into his pocket, pulling out the money. "I could buy food..." he said aloud to himself.

* * *

Wolf walked through the crowds of mutants, the teen looking for a stall that sold something to eat... when he bumped into something.

"You okay, sir?"

Wolf looked up, seeing a yellow bull dog wearing a fedora offering him a hand.

"Thanks..." wolf muttered, grabbing hold of the dogs hand and pulling himself to his feet. Without further conversation, the human paced off.

Joshua slid a hand under his fedora and scratched his head, "What a strange fellow..."

His wife, Margaret came up behind him with a grocery cart containing food stuffs and their three sons, Jake, Joshua, and Finn the Human. Margaret frowned, "What's that guy's deal?"

Joshua placed his hands on his hips, "I don't know, sugar. But what would you expect from someone walking around in a gas-mask?"

Finn, who was playing with his canine brothers in the cart, gurgled and stood up.

"BUWBA!" he gurgled, trying to grab at the man with his chubby fingers. Margaret picked him up, "Oh, poor baby... that weirdo scared him."

Finn began wailing, watching the man round a corner and disappear.

* * *

Wolf looked around the stalls, looking for something to eat... that's when he spotted it. Smelled it rather, the heavenly aroma penetrating even his gas-mask. A small, green elephant at a simple wooden stall, with steaming pies on display.

Of course, Wolf didn't know what a pie was... but he did eat plenty of apples when he went to the surface once. And even with the scent of cinnamon mixed in, the sweet smell of apples prevailed.

He quickly ran over, clumsily taking out his money and slamming it on the counter, causing a few bills and coins to fly onto the ground below.

"WIERD APPLE, PLEASE." said Wolf bluntly and rather loudly, causing many onlookers to stare. Tree Trunks looked nervous, "Um... sugar, these aren't apples, they're apple pie... and you gave me enough money for five of them."

The scientists a least had the decency to teach Wolf to count. He quickly grabbed five pies and sped off, leaving behind a very confused Tree Trunks.

Wolf, after a bit of searching, found a cavern, that protected against the cold weather relatively well. He sat down, carefully setting the pies down in front of himself in a neat line. He then proceeded to pull down his hood and yank off the gas-mask.

And it hit him... the scent, it was like a punch to the face... but good. He shoved a fist into the first pie, quickly ripping out a steaming chunk and shove it in his mouth.

His eyes fluttered in the back of his head. From what little culinary pleasures he had in his life up until that point, nothing could hold a candle to this.

Needless to say, the pies didn't last very long. Wolf patted his full, warm belly, pulling his hood back up and falling over, retreating from the cold world into a deep sleep.

Home... that's where Wolf craved to return to. However, he encountered a problem. A huge problem.

The hatch, the only one he knew of, was sealed by rubble. He would never be able to move it alone... and how would he be able to get help as a human who didn't speak proper English? He had to try, anway. He began picking up stones and heaving them into a nearby pile.

That's when a passerby spotted him. He waved down at him, "Yo, buddy! I wouldn't do that if I were you!"

Wolf looked over at the man, a green ogre, "Why?"

The ogre walked over, "I saw two guys drop some kind of monsters in there and seal the exit by blowing it up. In fact, they wore gas-masks kind of like your's."

Wolf dropped the stone in his hands and his heart sank like a rock... the others... his clan... his friends... his family... his people... all gone.

He screamed in rage... a snarling, sub-human screech that caused the ogre to run away in fear. From under his gas-mask, Wolf practically foamed at the mouth, gnashing his teeth. Everything was going red.

"GONE! ALL GONE!" he cried in rage, punching a nearby tree so hard it toppled over. He dropped to his knees, balling his fists up and screaming towards the heavens. He wanted justice... he wanted revenge.


	5. Vengeance

Science Cat slammed his hands down on his desk, startling his lackey, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU CAN'T STOP HIM?! ALL OF YOU AND YOU'RE COMRADES CAN'T HANDLE ONE KID?!"

The mercenary clutched his arm, trying to stop the blood loss. His body had several deep gashes all around, and the right eye of his gas-mask was busted open, exposing his dilated, fear-filled eye, "He's no kid... he's a monster!"

Suddenly, another mercanry burst through the doors. He clutched at his throat, stumbling around the room and gurgling before falling on the ground, releasing the grip on his throat and allowing the large hole in his throat to spill out pints of blood.

Science Cat, Shark, and their lackey looked up to see Wolf standing there, covered in blood. In each hand he held a red, dripping knife.

"You..." he growled, "-killed family..."

The human stepped forward, causing the lackey to fall onto his back, hyperventilating, "No... stay away from me, you monster!"

Wolf roared, pouncing onto the merc and slashing his throat. The cat sitting at the desk quickly stood, "Shark, hurry!"

Shark nodded, "Right." The two talking animals ran to an iron door at the side of the door, quickly rushing inside and locking it, the angry boy a hair away from them. Science Cat fell to the ground in surprise when he heard the boy slam into the door.

"YOU DIE! DOOR WON'T PROTECT!" he roared, repeatedly slamming into the door. Shark looked over at Science Cat, "You know that won't hold him for long..."

The feline hissed in anger, tearing at his own fur, "Damn it all! And we were so close to completing the humanizer serum... I should have seen this coming and sent the men after him!"

Shark swallowed his fear, "Well... there is one way we can win."

Cat looked up at his partner, "You don't mean... the regeneration formula? But it's still in testing! We have no idea how that will affect our bodies!"

They heard the another slam on the door, causing them both to gulp. Shark quickly padded over to a cabinet, pulling out two vials of an orange liquid.

He handed one down to his feline comrade, "We don't have much of a choice at this juncture."

The cat sighed, clinking his vial together with Shark's in a mock cheers, "You're right, my friend. Bottoms up, eh?"

* * *

Wolf finally broke down the door. He looked around the dim lab and snarled, his eyes falling upon his two tormenters. They both were sweating bullets... finally, he could make them feel the same pain they made him feel all these years.

He spun the knifes around and drew ever closer, grinning like a slasher all the while.

Shark bore his vicious fangs, "Stand back, kid... I don't want to hurt you..."

Wolf growled in response. Shark snarled back, "OK... I warned you!"

The walking fish lunged at the human, aiming to take a huge bite out of him. Wolf stepped to the side however, and swiped one of his knifes at the shark, cutting off his fin.

Shark roared in pain, while Wolf smiled. That was soon replaced by a gasp, however, when, to both of the mad scientists reliefs, a new fin popped out and took the missing one's place.

Wolf staggered back, shocked, "Wha...?"

Shark grinned viciously, while Science Cat seized upon the human's moment of weakness. He quickly pounced on the human, knocking him into a broom closet. Shark followed up by slamming the iron door shut and propping it shut with a nearby pipe.

"Quick! That won't hold him for long! Grab the humanizer serum and let's run!" yelled Shark.

Science Cat quickly scampered over to the safe where the kept their precious serum. He quickly input the code and the vault and the door swung open. But, instead of a tray containing the vials of the serum, there was nothing but a video screen. It blinked to life, apparently motion sensitive and programed to turn on whenever the safe was opened.

There, in the video screen, was the marshmallow scientist, Dr. Dextrose. He wore a shit-eating grin on his face, and he lifted a vial of peach-colored liquid up into the screen, "Hello, Ray, Shark. Looking for this? Well, I've deiced that you're dreams of creating a human utopia were... childish."

The cat and shark's mouths both hung open. The candy continued, "I mean, why did the Great Mushroom War happen in the first place? Humans, that's why. But, they were considered quite the delicacy... that's why I'm selling it to a top restaurant chain. Chou'!"

The screen blinked off, and Science Cat balled up his furry little fists, both him and Shark so enraged they didn't notice the iron door crashing into the floor.

They did however, notice the knifes stabbing into their spinal cords. They fell to the ground, not being able to regenerate with the knifes still stuck into the wounds, nor being able to pull the knifes out.

"Not enough pain..." stuttered Wolf, kicking at their faces. Then punching them in the gut. He went on torturing them for hours, only for their body parts to regenerate, and their cries of pain being heard by only the few straggler mercenaries that weren't brave or dumb enough to take on Wolf.

Wolf laughed, taking sadistic joy in the pain of his tormenters. He looked over at the lab tables, where several beakers of fluids sat, bubbling. A wicked grin spread across his face.

Science Cat grunted, "Please, no! Those green and blue chemicals will explode if you mix them!"

Shark spat out some blood, "You idiot! Why would tell him that?!"

Wolf smiled, scooping up the chemicals he said would go boom. He walked to the doorway, looking back one last time before tossing them in, before turning around then sprinting.

* * *

That explosion, going off in a room full of dangerous chemicals, of course, triggered a chain reaction, and soon, the entire compound was up in flames. Wolf sat on a nearby cliff-side, watching the fireworks.

He sighed... he had literally no idea what to do next. He killed the men who tore him away from his quaint little life, and he had no quaint little life to return to... even if he could find another entrance to Buetopia, he would most likely only find monsters feasting on the corpses of his old clan.

He walked over to a nearby stream, throwing off his torn-up, padded vest and taking in his injuries... his neck, face, chest, and arms were all very burned, bruised, and cut up, but he would live. Neither the genetically engineered monsters nor the mercenaries were a match for him.

A mercenary... that might be a step in the right direction. He always heard about all the adventures they had and all the money they made.

"But... must learn to talk better, if people want hire Wolf." he grumbled aloud. He put back on his hoodie and gas-mask, tucking away his stun-rod, grenades, and knifes. He then set out to find the next town, and maybe someone willing to teach him proper English.

* * *

Some time latter, under the burned rubble of the compound, the newly regenerated bodies of Science Cat and Shark burst forth, gasping for air.

"So, back to square one... what do we do now, Ray...?" asked Shark, depressed.

"I'll tell you what we do..." growled Ray, "-we find that bastard Dextrose and beat him until he gives back our serum! We shall become humans, Shark! And every mutated freak in this radioactive wasteland shall be as well!"


	6. Turtle King

"So," asked Wolf down to the small, fluffy person, "-where can learn talk more betterer?"

The soft person bounced the ball he was playing with, "Umm... the Turtle King has a real big library... he could teach you to speak properly, guy."

Wolf pounded his fist into his palm, "Great! Hm... what library?"

The confused soft person held his ball to his chest, "Uh... a place with tons of books...?"

Wolf laughed, "Ha! Books make smart! Turtle King have lots smart!"

Soft Person backed up a bit, somewhat afraid of the strange man, "Uh... yeah... it's over that way..." He pointed north, where Wolf immediately sprinted a full speed, leaving behind the startled resident.

* * *

Turtle King was a large, wrinkley turtle with light brown skin, a dark-green shell, and had graying blond hair and goatee. He sat at his library, flipping through the pages of ancient prophets. He was currently reading 'Fifty Shades of Gray', apparently a memoir of the people of the past's strange mating rituals. Then, as soon as it was getting good, a young man in a gas-mask burst through the door.

Turtle King looked over, "Um... may I help you...?"

The gas-masked teen pointed at the shelled royal, "You! You teach me how talk good?"

Turtle King scratched his chin, "Well... I dunno..."

Wolf dropped to his knees, "Please! Me need food, and no one give job if no talk good!"

The King of Turtles sighed, "I'm sorry, but I'm a king. I can't just drop whatever I'm doing and teach some pedestrian proper English..."

Wolf balled his fists up, ready to punch the turtle's lights out... when he heard laughing behind him. He turned his head and saw a gray-skinned man with a silly, white hair cut, and behind him, an old man with red robes, and a blue man with red eyes and a yellow, diamond shaped head.

"C'mon," yelled the gray man, "-hit him, you freak!"

"Who you?" asked Wolf, standing up.

The gray man folded his arms across his chest, "I'm Ash. This is Wizard Thief and Laser Wizard. And we're here for the Sleeping Spell."

Turtle King grunted, "I've already told you, you punks, I'm not giving it up to you!"

"Oh?" said Ash, "-well, that's to bad. Laser Wizard, take 'em out."

"With pleasure, buddy." said the floating Wizard, his eyes beginning to crackle with red energy.

Wolf growled, pulling out his stun rod. He powered it on and before any one in the room knew it, had jumped above Laser Wizard's head, bringing down the electric weapon and sending a shock wave throughout the spell caster's body.

Laser Wizard reeled back, clutching at his head, "Why you little... die!"

He thrust his hands forward, shooting a red laser at Wolf. The human gasped, crossing his arms before the red light engulfed him, knocking him onto his back with singed clothing. He looked to his side, seeing his stun-rod laying at his side.

He reached out for it, but Ash stuck out his finger like it was a gun, shooting the weapon with a small bolt of fire, breaking it. Ash blew some smoke off his finger and said cockily, "Oops... did I do that...?"

He shot a sly grin at the gas-masked teen and turtle (who had retreated into his shell,) when Wolf roared in anger. He burst forth, striking Ash a countless number of times with his fists.

Ash fell to the ground with many shattered ribs and a broken nose. Laser Wizard gasped, rushing to his side. Suddenly, Wizard Thief hopped on top of a book-shelf, holding a baby-blue book aloft, "Guys! I have it!"

Laser Wizard smiled from under his diamond-shaped helmet, "Great!"

He lifted his hand up, "BLINDING LASER!"

As he said, a blinding light shot forth, stunning the enraged human. The three wizards took this opportunity to turn and run.

Wolf yanked off his gas-mask, throwing it to the ground. He screamed and frantically rubbed his eyes, until slowly his sight returned.

"I have to thank you for saving me, young man." said Turtle King, stepping behind Wolf with a thunderous step.

The human quickly covered his face with his gloved hands and scrambled away on his knees. Turtle King stared at his hunched back.

"No!" he cried, "-don't look at Wolf!"

Turtle King smiled a bit, "You said you're name is Wolf...?"

"Ye-Yes..." whimpered the human, terribly ashamed of his species.

"Can you please stay there for a moment...? I promise I want hurt you." said the King warmly.

"O-OK."

After a few minutes and several thunderous foot-steps, Turtle King returned, tossing a mask in front of the human... a wolf mask.

"There," the King said, "-it might still draw attention, but its a bit more tasteful than that gas-mask. I don't know why you want to hide your face, but it's none of my business, I suppose."

The human gently picked it up and placed it upon his face. He turned around and smiled from under it... the mask was perfect.

"Thank." said Wolf awkwardly.

Turtle King smiled, "Come. We need to improve your vocabulary."

Wolf titled his head to the side, confused. The King chuckled a bit, "I'll help you talk better. But first, let's get something to eat."

Wolf laughed happily, quickly hopping to his new friend's side.

* * *

Ray Campbell the Science Cat walked through the planes, Mr. Shark at his side. Everything in their eyes were... blurry. In fact, everything was quickly becoming a blurry haze. He wasn't Doctor Ray Campbell, the brilliant feline scientist. He was simply a cat who knew science. A Science Cat.

As for his partner, he was no longer Mr. Shark. Just Shark. The blessing of regeneration brought a curse along with it... they were quickly losing their sanity.

They were just wandering aimlessly across the land. They didn't know where they were going, they just knew what they wanted- a human. They didn't know exactly why, either... but when they found one, they would never give it up, even if it meant returning to it's dwelling every other day, only to suffer a bloody defeat and be pulled from the brink by their regeneration...


	7. Ashes to Ashes

"Well, Wolf," said Turtle King, rubbing his younger friend's head, "-I can safely say you have a respectable mastery of the English language. Here, take one of my dictionaries, just to be safe."

Wolf graciously took the book, before tucking it into his brown backpack. He patted Turtle King's shoulder, "Thank you, Turtle King. I'll be sure to visit you sometime, if I'm ever in the area."

"Wolf!" cried a young voice from behind him. He turned to see the young daughter off the Turtle King, Turtle Princess. He rubbed her head, "Hey, Turtle Princess."

She sniffled a bit, "You're leaving...? But I'll miss you..."

He pulled her in for a hug and patted her on the center of her shell, "Don't worry... I'll be back."

With that, he slung his back pack across his back, setting out from the library. He walked out the front door, setting down the stairs.

However, he heard a deafening bang from behind him. He looked back with a gasp to see smoke and fire pillowing from the library. Hearing the screams of Turtle King and his daughter, he quickly dropped his pack, grabbed his two knifes from the front pocket, and ran in.

He coughed as a plume of smoke hit him in the face, and he briefly wished he kept his gas-mask. He waved the smoke away and looked forward to see the wizard he had fought with a few weeks ago, Ash, with his hand stuck straight through Turtle King.

Wolf shook in rage, unable to move from pure shock. Ash pulled his arm out of the trembling king and smiled, "Hey, funny story about that spell me and my buds stole a few weeks ago. Turns out, I didn't think ahead and actually take the time to discover where my target actually _was_ before I could cast it on her. Well, Laser and Thief apparently didn't like my lack of foresight, so I came back to try and find a locating spell before they ditched me..."

He pointed his bloody finger down at the dead turtle at his feet, "- then this cranking geyser tells me that he doesn't have one! So, you can imagine my frustration, right?"

Wolf huffed in anger. He looked behind Ash to see a crying Turtle Princess hiding behind a book-shelf.

"TURTLE PRINCESS!" he screamed, "-get out! I don't want you to see what I'm going to do to this bastard!"

She nodded and began waddling away. Ash chuckled a bit and pointed his finger at the sobbing princess like it was a gun, "Like shooting fish in a barrel..."

Wolf snarled like a wild animal, sprinting faster than he thought possible at the wizard before swinging his foot around, kicking the wizard into a burning book-shelf.

It toppled over, breaking apart. The wizard quickly rolled off, knocking the embers off his black, sleeveless jumpsuit. Wolf cracked his neck as a few burning pages blew behind him. Ash chuckled a bit, "Oh! A tough guy! This will be fun."

He conjured up a green ball of energy, lifting above his head, "Here, catch!"

He lobbed it over at Wolf, the human quickly jumping out of the way as it burrowed into the floor where he was previously standing.

Wolf yelled again, barreling over to the wizard and swiping at him multiple times with his knifes. Ash managed to weave out of the way all of them.

Wolf grunted, flipping back as Ash charged his fist with fire and swung at him, missing by inches. Wolf landed on his feet. He grunted, "You're fast. If I want to hit you, I'll need to slow you down."

Ash snorted, "Good luck with that, kid."

Wolf grunted... he looked around his surroundings, the only things he heard were the crackle of the fire behind him, his own breathing, and the smug chuckling of Ash... and noted two things. First, his enemy was bare-foot, and secondly, he noticed the large mural on the wall behind the wizard.

Wolf grabbed a nearby chair. Ash quickly cast a ward, but when Wolf tossed the furniture, but it sailed way over Ash's head, crashing into the mural and sending tiny pieces of glass raining down to the floor.

Ash grinned, "You need to work on your aim..."

"And you should wear shoes." retorted Wolf.

Ash gasped, looking at his feet... the entire area was covered in fragments of glass. He wouldn't be able to move without cutting his feet to the Night O' Sphere.

'_Damn...'_ thought Ash, '_- why did I watch porn instead of learning that flying spell?! I have to learn it first thing if I make it out of this alive...'_

Wolf smiled, rushing at the wizard, the entire library echoing the sounds of the two fighter's screams and the crunching of glass underneath Wolf's boots.

Wolf thrust his knifes forward, sticking each one into Ash's rib cage. The wizard screamed in agony and spat out blood on the human's back. Wolf pulled out the knifes, letting the wizard step back into the broken glass on instinct, cutting open his soles.

Wolf smiled, spinning the knifes around, "Now, I'm going to make you feel the same pain you made Turtle King feel..."

"Freeze!"

Wolf turned around to see several Turtle Guards at the entrance of the library. One guard snarled, "How dare you betray the King?!"

Wolf grunted, "It wasn't me! It was this wizard!"

He pointed behind himself, and the guard's frowns grew, "There is no one there, you liar!"

He looked over his shoulder and gasped... the wizard was gone. Only a trail of bloody foot-prints leading to an open back door.

He grunted, raising his hands up, "Look, he ran away! Turtle Princess can..."

"Enough of your lies!" screamed a guard, stepping forward and brandishing his spear towards the human, "- you took advantage of our king's kind heart! Even he couldn't resist helping some poor man who saved his life, even if it that man hid behind a mask!"

Wolf lowered his head and whispered, "I'm sorry."

Without warning, he burst up, rushing towards the guards. The head guard thrust out his spear, only for the human to jump atop the tip, jumping off and running across the crowd of guard's heads, jumping back out the front doors and rushing down the stairs, slowing down for only a bit to grab his back-pack before rushing out into the swampy woods of the Turtle Kingdom.

* * *

Wolf sat atop a tree, taking a look at the quaint little city, castle, and library of the Turtle Kingdom before he set off. His heart felt very heavy, and it wasn't a pleasant feeling. The only man outside of his clan to ever show him genuine kindness was murdered, and his people blamed him for it. It was unlikely that they would ask Turtle Princess what she saw, she was a little girl, and the guards didn't seem to keen on listening.

He jumped off the tree, landing on both feet and setting out. He was soon, however, caught in a rope trap. Before he released it, he was hanging from a tree by his ankle.

He gasped, swinging around in confusion. Just as soon as he released he was in a trap, he reached for his knife, when he heard a snarky, female voice from behind him, "Well, looks like I caught a big one today..."


	8. All Bark

Wolf quickly pulled out his knife, chopping the rope. He fell back to Ooo, crashing into the moist forest ground. He quickly flipped to his feet, turning around to see his captor. What he saw was a green woman in a bandit mask, holding a strung bow to his face, ready to let an arrow fly in, point blank.

"Well..." she said, releasing the tension on her bow-string and tucking the arrow away. Wolf backed up, brandishing his knife at her, "I don't want to hurt you, lady."

She laughed, giving her leafy hair a toss, "It's Huntress Wizard... and you really don't want to hurt me? You seemed just fine hurting the Turtle King."

"I didn't kill him... it was some wizard!"

The girl smiled, "Keep talking. I believe you, buddy."

Wolf smiled from under his mask, "Really?"

"No. I'm being sarcastic, you moron."

Wolf drew his second knife and charged at the woman. She laughed, drawing her bow and shooting an arrow. The arrow hit Wolf's right knife, sending it spiraling through the air and embedding in a nearby tree.

Wolf snarled like what he was named after. He stabbed at the woman, but she simply grabbed his wrist and pinched, triggering a nerve and making him drop his knife.

Wolf staggered back, rolling his wrist around. Huntress Wizard smiled at him, "You've had enough?"

The human responded by charging in, fists and feet flying at blinding speeds. The huntress, however, dodged every single one of his wild strikes.

"You're surprisingly fast and strong..." she said, leaning her head to the side as his fist flew by, "-but you fight like a wild animal. Totally unrefined and sloppy."

He jumped in the air, coming down with his fist reared back. He punched down at her, but she hopped out of the way, then bounced back and delivered a series of lightning fast blows to his chest, taking away his breath and knocking him to the ground, gasping for air.

She looked over his wheezing form and frowned, "Jeez, man. You have a lot of potential, but your fighting skills are totally unrefined. I suggest you learn how to really fight. I hear the next town over has some sort of store that sells battle gear and martial arts scrolls... maybe you should pay 'em a visit."

She turned, "Maybe our paths will cross again some day. Until then, human."

Wolf sat up and gasped. He reached out for her, "Wait, how did you know-"

She sprang up into the tree tops before he could finish. He rubbed his bruised stomach, "I'll show her... maybe I will go visit this town..."

* * *

"Oh! Dude, you must be looking for the Fight-O-Rama. Just head north of here and you should spot it. Can't miss it, the place is huge!"

Wolf was talking to a strange little green man, who was sitting on his front porch and eating some sort of pasty meal out of a blue plastic tray.

Wolf nodded, "Thank you for the directions..."

Wolf then smelled the meal that the man was eating... it smelled... odd. Sickly sweat. Something about it made his stomach lurch.

"Um... whats that you're eating?"

The man swallowed another bite and pointed at it with his fork, "This? Oh, it's artificial human substitute. Apparently, it tastes like real human."

Wolf shuddered, quickly turning and jogging away. The man shrugged his shoulders, continuing to dig into his meal.

* * *

Wolf walked into the Fight-O-Rama, gaping in wonder. It had to be the biggest building he had ever seen, at least twice as big as the library. And it was stocked full of weapons, armor, and books and scrolls on the art of combat.

Wolf quickly gathered up the books and scrolls that interested him. He even found one on swordsmanship. He had enough money from his work as a mercenary, he figured he could afford a sword.

He bought the books, tucking them away in his pack, right next to the dictionary the late Turtle King had given him. He turned back to the clerk, a skinny goblin, "Hey, what kind of swords do you have?"

"Sorry, dude..." the goblin replied, "-our swords are on back order. Our black-smith who makes he swords went down into the mines to get more ore and didn't come back. We're pretty sure hes dead."

Wolf rubbed his chin, "Hmm... say, if I went and investigated this for you, would you be willing to pay me?"

The goblin shrugged his shoulders, "Probably. My boss said he would pay anyone brave enough to go down into the mines... there's been a monster infestation there ever since the black-smith disappeared. Those monsters are probably what got him.'

Wolf pumped his fist, "Alright... I guess I'm your man!"

* * *

Wolf stared into the empty black pit of the mines. He narrowed his eyes from underneath his mask, "Hello?"

No reply. He took down a nearby torch and grinned it against the wall to light it, illuminating his way forward. He stepped in, his boot creating a massive echo.

He traveled down into the mines, the sounds of water dripping from the ceiling unnerving him. He heard a stone clatter against a wall in the distant.

"Hey!" he called out, "-anybody there?"

He listened closely and started to hear... chanting? He charged down deeper into the cave, where he came across a natural slope leading to a gigantic cavern. He quickly ducked behind a large rock and looked over to see a disturbing sight in that cavern.

About 100 imps, orcs, and other monstrous creatures were gathered around a giant, wooden stake planted in the cave floor. The strange rocks in the walls cast eerie shadows over the entire scene. On the stake, their was a small, pudgy green man wearing blue spectacles, a woolen cap, brown pants, and a leather apron with a small hammer in the front pocket.

And floating beside that green man was a blue man. A flying blue man with bright, shining wings. He flew around the large cavern, his snow-white hair and robes fluttering behind him.

He stopped abruptly, pointing exactly to where Wolf was hiding, "Who dares interrupt this sacred fellowship?!"

All the monsters turned towards Wolf. He growled, stepping out from his hiding spot, "Me. What is this anyway?"

The angelic monster spread out his wings, "This- is a cult, devoted to following our dark Savior, the Lich! Due to his soon to be return, we were preparing another sacrifice to his mightiness... until you showed up!"

Wolf growled. He read about the Lich with the Turtle King... while he didn't have any particular duties to protect Ooo, he knew that he couldn't let him be released.

"What do you mean, soon to be release?"

The flying monster spread out his wings, "I've told you too much already, outsider! My brothers, attack!"

The monsters came rushing up the slope, all waving around their deadly claws or rusty weapons. Wolf noticed that they all had to stand in a line and run their way up the slope to reach him.

He grabbed the large rock he was hiding behind, "This should be big enough..."

The human heaved the rock at the slope. It rolled down, crushing all the screaming monsters underneath it's weight. Wolf ran behind it, quickly killing the survivors with quick knife slashes.

And just like that, it was the angel against the human. The white-winged creature spread out it's wings, "Well, well... quite impressive. You show great ingenuity."

The human shrugged, "It was nothing."

The angel spread out his wings, "But, it will take more than brain power to defeat me! Prepare to die, blasphemer!"

The angel dove at the human, swinging his fist out at him. Wolf quickly ducked back before grabbing the angel by his arm, tossing him into the cave wall.

The monstrous angel quickly rebounded, flying over to where the human was, but seeing he was gone. The angel's face turned bony, his bulged out, and his teeth grew elongated, "WHERE ARE YOU, BOY?"

The human landed on his back, "Right here, bird-brain!"

The angel screamed in surprise and started flying around the cavern, slamming his back into the stone walls in an attempt to knock the human off his back. The human just smiled, however, and looped his arm around the angel's eyes, blinding him.

"I CAN'T SEE!" hissed the angel, flying around blindly. Wolf quickly grabbed him by his right wing, bending it back and breaking it. The angel hissed in pain, the human jumping off it's back and kicking it in the spot between it's two wings, sending the fallen angel spiraling into stalagmite.

The angel landed on the pointed rock, which tore through his stomach and emerged out the other side of his back. It hissed and screeched in white-hot agony.

"SISTER..." it hissed, "-I AM SORRY."

With that, it coughed out some blood and slumped over, dead. With his otherworldly foe vanquished, Wolf cast his gaze towards the green man.

"That was amazing!" he said, "-hey, couldja help me down from here?"

"Sure." answered Wolf, "-you are the black-smith, right?"

"Yep." the green man responded as the human jumped onto the stake, beginning to shimmy up.

Wolf cut the man's ropes and grabbed him, helping the small man onto his back.

"But, I'm seriously thinking about a change in profession. A cobbler, maybe. I've gotten a little to old for this black-smithing." added the green man as Wolf slid back down.

"But," he added again, "-you did save my life. I should repay you... how would you like a sword?"

"That would be fantastic." responded Wolf as the black-smith jumped off his back. The green man looked over to the angel, who was leaking blue blood all over the ground.

He rubbed his chin, "I hear that you can make a sword out of demon's blood... I wonder if the same can be done with angel's blood...?"

* * *

Wolf hit the pressure points off his imaginary opponent, using a tree as a guide. He was practicing his martial arts skills right outside the soon to be cobbler's house, as he made him his new sword.

"Alright," said the black-smith, stepping to his porch, "-it's ready, boy."

Wolf walked up the porch, where the old man held a navy blue-blade aloft. It shone like a brilliant star, and it's black handle was complete with a golden cross-guard.

"It's amazing..." breathed out Wolf, accepting it from the withered old timer, "-I'll treasure this for as long as I live."

"You'd better!" threatened the black-smith jokingly, "-that's my last piece of work before I move out to the city to live closer to my family and start making and repairing shoes."

Wolf strapped it across his back and nodded to the old man, "I'll never forget this. And I'll be sure to visit you if I ever need any new shoes."

* * *

**Oh, if you didn't catch this, that humanizer formula Dextrose sold to that big corporation? That's the same one who makes the Human Tofu stuff in the episode, 'Her Parents.' I'll let you piece that together.**

**This will appear later in the story.**


	9. Bite

Wolf walked along the midday plains, looking for a nearby settlement of some sort. The people of Ooo were always in need of assistance, it was just a matter of who to find.

He reached behind his back and grabbed the hilt of his new sword. He was eager to try both it and his new martial arts skills out.

He looked directly ahead of himself to see a piece of paper nailed to a tree. He walked over to it and yanked it off.

'WEREWOLF WANTED.

BRING IN SEVERED HEAD FOR BIG $$$'

And at the bottom, their was a picture of a werewolf with blood dripping off it's whiskers. Wolf smiled to himself... this would prove to be an excellent challenge.

* * *

The werewolf yelped in surprise as the mangled corpse of his mate landed at the mouth of his cave. He quickly ran out and shook her corpse, tears falling from his eyes.

"WHO DID THIS!?" he screamed to the moon. Another Wolf landed behind him, "That would be me."

He spun around and snarled, "YOU LITTLE... YOU KILLED MY MATE!"

The creature of the night stepped up to the human, screaming in his face, "SHE WAS EVERYTHING TO ME!"

Wolf smiled from under his mask, waving his hand in front of the snout of his mask, "Jeez, ever heard of mouth wash, buddy?"

The wolf roared in anger, throwing out his paw, attempting to decapitate the mercenary. Wolf caught the werewolf's arm and flipped over him, twisting the werewolf's own arm behind his back.

The werewolf roared in pain and anger, spittle flying out of his snout. He broke away, spinning around to face his opponent, only for the human to punch the lycan repeatedly in the chest, stopping for a brief moment only to reroute his flying fists to the werewolf's face.

The human ended his assault with an uppercut to the lycan's jaw, sending the wolf flying into the edge of the cave mouth, where he bounced off and landed in front of the human, dazed.

Wolf grabbed it by the tail, "It's time to finish this!"

He began spinning the wolf around in a circle, before tossing it up into the air. It yelped in fear as it flapped it's arms in a vain attempt to avoid his doom.

Wolf smirked, drawing his sword. He slashed upwards as the lycan neared closer to the ground, splitting it in two.

Wolf brought it down once again, severing the monster's head. He picked it up and prepared to leave, but stopped mid-step when he heard soft crying from behind him.

He looked over his shoulder to see a sobbing, child werewolf standing at the cave mouth.

"You killed my parents!" it cried, rubbing the tears out of his eyes.

It suddenly dawned on Wolf. He had just done something no better than what his tormentors had done to him... yet... he didn't feel... anything, really. The rush of the kill was gone, and he felt... bored.

"Should I feel bad about that? You're a monster."

The young lycan sniffled, "But... you're a werewolf too! You have to be!"

Wolf growled. He balled his fist up, pacing over to the child and slapping it, it fell to the ground, curling up into a ball.

"Don't compare yourself with me!" Wolf screamed, kicking the monster back into the cave.

"I'm a human." he muttered, pacing back to collect his reward. A few minutes, later, however, a certain Vampire Queen flew into the scene. She looked around at the carnage.

"Jeez," she muttered, "-what happened here?"

She floated over to the dead werewolf, "This guy's pelt might make a good dress..."

* * *

Wolf paced around in his motel room. He had killed many criminals and monsters. Many of them probably had families... and yet, it felt... good. And not just the rewards, it was the thrill of killing itself.

Wolf growled, balling his fists up. He barged into the bathroom, staring into his reflection. His chest and stomach were still a jigsaw puzzle of scars and stitches, and his shoulder-length blond hair remained the same.

Yet... his eyes. Those eyes were different. If they were peaceful waters before, than this would be an ocean during a raging storm.

"No." he said aloud, "-I'm not like that..."

'_Yes, you are.'_ assured a voice in the back of his head, '-_and why shouldn't you be? Everyone of your kind has died. Who has ever shown you kindness without you saving their asses first? Turtle King wanted nothing to do with you until you saved his life. Every mutant freak out here would despise you if they knew you were human.'_

Wolf dug his fingernails into his palm, "-I do whatever I want, when I want. Good or evil doesn't matter to me. It never has. And it never will..."

* * *

**I just occurred to me... what should be the shippings in this story? Please, feel free to tell me what you want to see.**


	10. Sweet as Candy

The Candy Kingdom.

Witnessing it's full glory for the first time, Wolf couldn't help but be taken aback. It's towering, yellow walls and majestic castle in the background.

He walked through the glorious, cotton-candy forest at a leisurely pace, talking the sights in.

That's when his boot clanked up against a metal grate. He looked down, confused. A metal grate in the middle of the forest?

He saw something even more odd, however. A pink, gooey substance was creeping out from between the bars. He quickly stepped off before it could touch his foot.

"What in Ooo..." he muttered, watching the goop begin to jiggle.

Out of all the odd sights Wolf had seen, the next moment took the cake. A happy face emerged from the muck and smiled brightly at him.

"HeLlo" it said, even it's voice sounding gelatinous, if it were possible. It rose out some more, and the glob of pink muck quickly doubled him in height and tripled him in width. It soon sprouted faces all over, all giggling simultaneously and jiggling like jelly during an earthquake.

It grew even bigger, and began to advance towards the human. Wolf quickly flipped back, before the gum lurched at him, attempting to engulf him in it's own pink, gooey body.

Wolf pointed at the Gum Monster, "Look, you freak! You better keep your distance!"

The monster laughed in reply, beginning to advance towards him again. Wolf clenched his teeth, "Fine, you ugly tub of pink jello! You just dug your own grave!"

He jumped at the creature, swinging around his fists with great power and speed. They all crashed into the strange creature, leaving imprints of his knuckles. Wolf landed behind the creature, indulging himself with a cocky chuckle. But, he stopped abruptly when more faces grew from the blob's back.

"yOu'Re MeAn!" it whined, the faces looking somewhat hurt.

Wolf unslung his sword, the blue blade glinting in the sunlight, "You think I'm mean now? Just give a minute..."

He rushed forwards, throwing a flying knee at the creature's largest face. The human bounced off, bringing his angel-blood sword down and chopping from all angles at top speed, and in no time at all, the screaming creature was reduced to little, quivering chunks, which then melted into pink goo.

Wolf laughed a bit, spinning his blade around before slinging it across his back once again. He turned towards the Candy Kingdom, not noticing the goop begin to crawl back towards the hatch, returning back to it's subterranean dwelling.

* * *

As the creature slunk back to the underground, desolate lab and reformed with the rest of it's bodily mass, it's daughter came into the room, looking concerned.

The pink, sentient soup gave a pathetic whine, looking towards it's offspring, "bOnNiE, tHeRe WaS a MeAn MaN..."

Bubblegum rubbed the area near her parent's largest face, "It's OK, Mom and Dad... he can't hurt you anymore..."

* * *

Wolf leaned back in his chair, sipping on his candy coffee. Strong and sweet... he liked it. To bad he had to enjoy it on a roof top to avoid unnecessary gazes.

He finished his coffee, putting back on his wolf mask and looking down at the populace... even with his relatively short time spent here, he could tell that the candy, in essence, were soft-hearted idiots. The complete opposite of the only other candy person he met, Dr. Dextrose.

What kind of ruler was this Bubblegum woman that the people exalted so? What kind of a ruler would allow her people to be such softies? To allow such a dependence on her? To blind them from the cruelty of life... from reality?

He figured he would help one of the poor saps. Show one of 'em life isn't all about cupcakes and rainbows... that some nasty motherfuckers are out to get you for the hell of it.

So, he selected a rotund, Cinnamon Bun. With a sly grin, he lobbed his empty mug downwards, and it shattered against the Bun's head. He screamed much like a baby and fell to his knees, crying.

Wolf chuckled a bit.

"Bitch." he practically spat, somewhat surprising himself.

"Where did I get this sudden mean-streak?" he thought aloud. He hung his head and sighed, "-what does it matter? I remember surface people throwing things at me... he deserves it."

The mercenary flipped down to the street, startling many of the Candy People. He stretched out a bit before walking off like it was an east feat.

"Where to next...?" wondered the human aloud.

He pulled out a phone he had bought. Didn't really use it to call anyone... although he got a call for a job every now and then. He mostly used to check the net for any jobs for soldiers of fortune like him.

He jumped into a tree branch, looking through his options. After about five minutes of searching, he finally came across something interesting.

'SPACE ANGEL KING IN NEED OF BODY GUARD! PLEASE VISIT SPACE ANGEL CASTLE FOR AUDITION!'

"Awesome." said the human, "-I think I'll go their right after I'm finished with you, Huntress Wizard."

Huntress Wizard was indeed their. She jumped from the higher branches of the tree they were in and landed on a neighboring branch. She folded one leg over another, "How did you know I was following you, champ?"

The human hopped to the ground and looked up at her, "I noticed out of the corner of my eye about an hour ago."

Huntress Wizard smiled slyly, "So, what now?"

Wolf cracked his knuckles, "I suppose I show you just how much I've improved..."

He rushed at the green woman, throwing his leg out at her head. It came much faster than the huntress had expected, and it knocked her back into the tree. Huntress sat up, wiping a trickle of green blood from her lip.

Wolf ran at her, jumping into the air and sending a jump kick at her head. Huntress rolled out of the way, the human's kick hitting the tree behind her.

Huntress smiled, "It's amazing that you were able to improve in such a short time."

Wolf drew his sword, "Thank you."

Huntress drew her bow, "Why are we fighting again...?"

"Not sure myself." the human responded.

Huntress released the tension on her bow. The arrow flew by Wolf's head, embedding in a nearby tree. Wolf looked back at her, "You missed on purpose."

Huntress Wizard smiled, "I don't want to kill you, dude. I'm just playing around."

Wolf growled, "That's too bad, because I want to kill you!"

He rushed at her, swinging his sword at a blinding speed. She barely dodged, the blade scraping by her ribcage, causing a splash of green blood to spill out into the grass below.

Huntress Wizard panted, "Whatever. I'm out of here."

Wolf rushed at her again, but the wizard jumped into the trees, leaving behind the blood-thirsty human.

Wolf huffed, slinging his sword, "Fine. But I still have that feeling that this won't be the last we cross paths."


	11. Heaven or Hell?

The Space Angel Kingdom was accessible by a large pod, which would warp any standing inside straight to the orbital colony that the Space Angels called home. Wolf was on that next trip, along with several others, most tough looking veterans of combat, others armed to the teeth.

'_Guess we're all here for the same job.'_ mused Wolf to himself as the warp process initiated, transporting the mercenaries to the space colony.

Wolf stepped off the pad with the rest of the hired warriors, taking a good look around. It looked like sort of a docking station, comprised entirely of gray metal. The station was docked with an assortment of space ships, busy little Space Angels, and cargo crates. The human's attention then turned to the gigantic, reinforced window, seeing the lonely little Earth peaking out from an endless sea of darkness and twinkling stars.

"Gentleman! It's nice to meet you!"

They all looked up to see a Space Angel with a small, purple stubble of a beard and white crown floating down towards them, two Space Angel Guards armed with some sort of laser rifles at his side.

"I am the Space Angel King. Now, I invited you all here because I need a new body guard... and I fear that an assassin is after my life."

A large, broad chested man stepped next to Wolf. The human looked up at him. The man had dark-red skin, wrapped his body in bandages. He also wore a turban on his head. The tall man looked down at Wolf... he had a sharp nose, orange eyes, and wicked smile.

"An assassin...? Now how about that, Wolf?"

Wolf's eyes burst open. While the Space Angel King continued chattering, Wolf looked up at him, "Who are you and how do know me...?"

The wicked smile never left the man's face, "Names Scorcher. And lets just say, for now, I have a job proposition for you as well... I'll explain later..."

"So, in conclusion, we'll need you all to step in to this advanced machine to calculate your fighting power and ability. The top two will then battle to see who is the more capable of being my new bodyguard."

Wolf scoffed. This would take a while.

* * *

The 'advanced machine' was a small tunnel, the insides aglow with green light from the scanners. At one side, their was a computer manned by a Space Angel, calculating the fighter's power.

Somehow, Scorcher ended up in front of Wolf.

"Of course you would pull something like this." hissed Wolf to the tall man, "-whats up with you anyway?"

"Later." answered the man bluntly.

After a few minutes of waiting, it was Scorcher's turn. He stepped in, and the Space Angel ran the results.

"Wow..." breathed out the Space Angel as Scorcher stepped out, "-your strength ranks at 56, your speed at 98, and power at 159, making your total ranking 313!"

All the other mercenaries behind Wolf cried out in frustration the highest up to that point had been some mountain of an ogre, and he was just a 100. Some even bailed and went back to Earth. Either way, it was Wolf's turn.

He stepped in, some of the contestants giggling. After all, how cold a thin teen score even beyond 20?

The Space Angel manning the computer gasped, "Power, 0... Strength... 75!? Speed... 83?! HIS TOTAL IS 158?!"

At this point, the rest of the mercenaries bailed, either out of frustration or believe that the contest was rigged, or the machine was busted.

Wolf balled his fist. Scorcher was almost twice as powerful... but it takes more than powers to fight. And he had his angel-blood sword, so it would probably even out the odds.

Scorcher brushed past him on his way to the arena where they would battle. He smiled down at the human teen, "Looking forward to our battle..."

* * *

The arena was a gray metal room, that was at least 20 meters tall. Near the roof was the Space Angel King on a balcony, looking down at the fighters, "Good luck, boys!"

Scorcher pointed at the teen, "You're going down, kid."

Wolf didn't reply. He rushed at the strange man, slicing his sword at the red man. However, to his and Space Angel King's surprise, the odd mercenary turned into a black mist, floating behind Wolf before reforming.

Scorcher placed his hands on Wolf's shoulders and leaned in, whispering into his ear, "Good, good... you're faster than we expected. You almost got me."

Wolf spun around, attempting to lob off Scorcher's head. The assassin dodged by bending so far backwards his turbaned head touched the ground. The bandaged creature than popped up like a wacky inflatable tube man, socking Wolf across his wolf mask.

Wolf fell to the metallic ground, quickly rolling to his feet. He got up just in time to see a fireball coming his way. He tossed his sword at the flames, dispersing them and heading straight towards Scorcher.

Scorcher yelped in surprise, turning his mid-section into black mist, where the sword passed harmlessly through. He looked back at Wolf, only to see his fist flying straight at his face. Wolf followed up with a knee to the man's gut before landing on his hands and back-flipping a few feet away.

The knee connected, knocking the fire user to his back. Scorcher sat up, wiping a trickle of blood from his lip, "That... that was the first time in 20 years anyone's ever managed to hit me..."

Scorcher sat up, only for his knees to buckle and give out, making him fall to the ground on his knee.

"I give up!" cried Scorcher, "-those blows incapacitated me."

'_What gives? Those blows shouldn't have made him unable to fight...'_ thought Wolf to himself.

Scorcher turned into black-mist, floating away. Space Angel King floated down to shake Wolf's hand, "Great to meet you, err..."

"Wolf." answered the human.

"Well, great name! Come, we have to go show you around my vacation home! That's where we'll be staying for a few days."

* * *

In the middle of the flight across the moon, Wolf was sitting across from Space Angel King with his arms folded. They were both seated in a cushy, luxurious room.

"You don't like to talk, do you?" asked Space Angel, folding one leg over another.

"Nope." replied Wolf.

Suddenly, two Space Angel's stumbled into the room. They were both choking to death, a black mist rising out of their mouths.

To both the king and his body guards shock and horror, the mist came together and formed into Scorcher. He smiled at them, "Don't worry about the pilot, boys. I made sure hes on a course straight back to Ooo."

"G-Get him, body guard!" cried Space Angel King, cowering behind Wolf.

"Tut, tut, Space Angel King. Did it ever occur to you that Wolf is on my side?"

"Preposterous!" cried Space Angel King, "-I've offered to pay him nearly twice than what one of my enemies would pay you assassins to kill me!"

"True, true..." said Scorcher, "-but not as much as Assassin King would pay Wolf if he killed you. Triple his current pay, if I'm not mistaken."

Wolf looked back at the King, "Don't worry, he's a nutcase. I won't betray you."

"Really?" said Scorcher, "-is it because you really don't care about the money? Why do you do this in the first place, Wolf? Do you enjoy killing?"

"Maybe." replied Wolf, drawing his sword, "-why don't I demonstrate on you?"

"If you kill Space Angel King, you can join the Guild of Assassins. The King has taken an interest in you."

Wolf looked down, contemplating his next move, "Do you have the money right now?"

Scorcher removed a briefcase from his back, tossing it to Wolf. The human looked inside, seeing what he said about the money was true.

He looked back at Space Angel King, who was cowering in the corner, regretting the decision of letting his money protect him.

"Look..." the King gulped, "-I'll pay you whatever you want. I'll quadruple whatever that assassins giving you... just... please don't kill me... I have a daughter..."

That hit a nerve. Wolf slammed the briefcase shut, "Do you think I give a shit?"

Space Angel King didn't respond. He squeezed his eyes shut and wiped the sweat pouring off his forehead. With some reluctance, he opened his eyes, only to see a blue blade coming towards him, stabbing into his heart.

The king gave a pathetic squeak before slumping over, dead. Wolf looked back at Scorcher, "How do you know about me?"

"We keep an eye on all budding mercenaries... to see if they're assassin material. So, you're joining us?"

"No." responded Wolf.

Scorcher's eyes popped open, "What?! Then why did you kill Space Angel King?!"

"You never said I would have to take the job if I took the money." said Wolf, raising the briefcase up.

Scorcher squinted his eyes, "I see. Well, after we reach Ooo, I'll go alert the King. He's not going to kill you, however. That's against our code, to kill anyone who doesn't accept a job. But anyway, we'll come back with an offer you can't refuse. Don't you worry."

Wolf sat back into the chair, "Can't wait."


	12. Throwing it All Away

Wolf sat a cafe' table in the Breakfast Kingdom, paging through a newspaper.

That's when it happened. A flying machine hovered above the square, startling the local breakfast populace. The machine was yellow and had a television screen on it.

The screen blinked to life, and a man appeared on screen. Wolf growled... he knew that man. His name was Maxim, he was a demon who had taken the Ooo business world by storm with his own mega corp, MaxCorp. Maxim had blue skin, green, slicked back hair, and red eyes. He wore a plum suit and red tie.

"Hello, Ooo." the demon said, "-as most of you know, I am Maxim, founder and CEO of MaximCorp, creator of fabulous products such as the artificial human substitute..."

Wolf snarled at the floating machine. Maxim's recording continued, "-anyhow, enough blowing my own trumpet. I have sent machines like this one to every kingdom in Ooo. I have a proposition to the people of this land."

He lifted a bright, yellow, almost radiant flower on screen. Wolf narrowed his eyes as the message continued, "This is the rare Light-Petaled Flower... a plant with the ability to restore life."

Wolf began shaking... a flower that could restore life? He could bring back his family!

Maxim raised a finger, "-it's the prize in the fighting tournament I'm funding in the next two months. So, if you want it, it's yours. All you have to do is win. Chou'!"

The recording flickered off, and the machine took off. Wolf looked down towards the ground... he had to win that tournament... for his family.

* * *

Maxim laughed, clapping his hands together. The demon was in his office, behind an expensive mahogany desk. Floating to his side was the Grand Master Wizard.

"I'm telling you," Maxim said, "-this years Grand Wizard Battle will be a real cash cow, with that flower as the prize. Think about how many people will enter!"

"It's not a Grand Wizard Battle- if non-wizards can enter, at least."

"Oh, don't be a party pooper, Whizzy. The wizard's elitism is why Grand Wizard Battles are always so poor when it comes to ratings and money."

"Watch your tongue, demon!" snapped the Grand Wizard.

Maxim raised his hands defensively, "Whatever, whatever."

* * *

Wolf rushed towards the arena where the tournament was being held. He came to a screeching halt when he heard a chilling voice from behind him, "Hmph. I thought I smelt the putrid stench of a human."

A man stepped out from behind a few trees. He was at least twice wolf's height, and wore decorative, dark green armor. A yellow, torn up cape flapped behind him, and his skull-like helmet was completed with ram horns jutting out from either side.

Wolf got into a fighting stance, "Who are you?!"

The man didn't respond. He folded his arms and looked over the human before scoffing, "So, you're that one human that killed a segment of my father's cult?"

"Your father...?"

The armored man placed one hand over his heart and folded the other arm behind his back, giving a mock bow to the human.

"Pleased to meet you, human. My name is the Lich Prince."

Wolf shuffled to the Prince's side, never dropping his guard. Lich Prince tilted his head back and let out a throaty, dry chuckle.

Wolf saw the window of attack and thrust his blue sword out, attempting to impale the demon. Lich Prince caught the blade and brought his foot up, delivering a painful kick to the human's gut.

Wolf staggered back, clutching his stomach. He opened his mouth, only to scream out several globs of blood.

Lich Prince dramatically tossed his cape, "Weakling. I could kill you, but that wouldn't be much fun... you are going to the Grand Wizard Tournament, aren't you? You seem to be going in that direction."

Wolf rubbed his stomach, "Yeah, I am... what's it to you?!"

Lich Prince chuckled, "Than I'll just kill you at the tournament. Much more dramatic. I enjoy an audience when I torture my opponents."

Lich smirked from under his helmet, gathering a small, crackling flame on his thumb. He flicked the flame at Wolf, where it hit his mask, breaking it apart and leaving a small scorch on his forehead. The force of the spell sent the human flying back into a tree, where he bounced off and landed in the grass with a dull thud.

"See you there..." said Lich Prince with a palpable tone of cockiness in his voice before striding away.

Wolf, face down in the grass, grabbed a handful of the blades. He looked up from the ground, tears running down his eyes. A small trickle of blood ran down his forehead and mixed with the tears, making small drops of reddish liquid drip off his chin.

"How am I suppose to beat a monster like that!?" he said aloud, "-I was going to sign up for the tournament and then train for a couple months to win, but I'll never be able to beat him like that..."

He sat up, "Unless, I find the man who beat his father and convince him to train me..."

* * *

"I'm impressed you managed to find me, young man, but I will not train you."

Wolf's head shot up towards the old hero. He stood up from his leaning position and pointed a finger at ancient giant, "What do you mean, you won't train me?!"

Billy sighed, "I no longer participate in a violent act of any sort. I'm sorry, I won't help you."

Wolf balled his fists up, "So, what about Lich Prince? Are you just going to let him resurrect his father with that flower?!"

"Lich isn't dead." stated Billy flatly, "-I don't know who he wants to resurrect, but Lich is sealed away, so it can't be him."

Wolf turned away from the hero and prepared to storm away. Billy called out for him before he could leave, "Wait! If it really means that much to you, I know someone who can help you."

Wolf turned, "Who would that be?"

Billy frowned a bit, "We're not exactly friends... but I know someone named Cosmic Wizard..."

* * *

An old observatory seated at the edge of a cliff, is where this Cosmic Wizard supposedly resided. He invented 10 deadly spells that were so powerful they could tear even the caster apart without the proper training.

Wolf gulped, tugging at the end of his backpack straps and cautiously walking inside.

Wolf gasped. Inside, both the dome-shaped interior and floor were made of some sort of glass, and through that glass, one could see millions of twinkling stars and planets, like they were being seen through some sort of high-powered telescope.

Speaking of high-powered telescopes, there was one in the center of the room, with a levitating old man sitting Indian style in mid-air, looking into the telescope.

"I don't know how you found me," said the old man, without looking away from the scope, "-but piss off."

"You're the Cosmic Wizard, right?" asked Wolf, "-I'd like to become your apprentice."

"How so?" asked Cosmic Wizard "-as an astronaut, or do you want to learn my forbidden spells? Because you're disgustingly underqualified for both."

Wolf stepped forward in determination, "Please, Cosmic Wizard! I need to win this Grand Wizard Tournament to save my family!"

The wizard turned and frowned, allowing Wolf to get a good look at him. He was a wrinkled old man with purple skin, a white beard, and a cone-shaped head. He wore a red-dish purple overcoat with white martial arts pants and black sandles. Easily the most stunning thing about him were his golden eyes.

The old wizard frowned, "I see determination in your eyes, boy. So much determination... is their an enemy you need to overcome?'

"Yes," responded Wolf, "-the Lich Prince."

Cosmic Wizard nodded, "I see. And I'm guessing this is the only real goal you've ever had...?"

"Yes."

The ancient wizard stroked his beard, "Hmph. I see... well, I would teach you, but as you've probably heard, my spells can rip you apart from the inside out without the proper training... and even if you did make it past my intense regimen, you're just a mere human. Your spiritual and mental capacities would still be too meager to handle my magic."

Wolf stood, "Than I'll give up my humanity! I'll become a Wizard!"

The Cosmic Wizard gave a small chuckle, "Really? A human becoming a wizard is no change of vocation... if I turn you into a wizard, I have no guaranty of what will become of your physical and mental status afterwords."

Wolf's entire body shook with determination, "I'll do it."

The cosmic being laughed, pulling a small vial out of a space pocket and tossing it over to the human. Wolf caught it, taking a look at the pale white fluid within.

"Wizard potion," explained Cosmic Wizard, "When you drink that, you'll transform into a wizard. Well, bottoms up, eh?"

Wolf hesitantly uncorked the vial before inhaling, trying to enjoy his last moments of humanity... he still hadn't decided whether or not it was a curse or blessing. However, he knew it had to go.

He brought the vial to his lips with his violently shaking hand, holding it their for a moment before quickly tipping back both his head and the vial, spilling the vile fluid down his throat.

Wolf coughed and spluttered. It tasted like rancid meat with a metallic-like aftertaste. He felt the entire world spinning around him as his vision started to go white.

He fell to one knee, crying out in pain... he felt like his head was being split open. By some force of magic, his ears started to form into a point, becoming elf-like. His skin was turning chalk-white, and he grew a few inches in height, as well as his golden hair extending down to his shoulders.

But that wasn't the end. His pupil's turned entirely blue. And like that, his transformation was a success.

He stumbled around a bit, trying to get used to his new body. Cosmic Wizard floated over, "So, how does it feel to be a wizard, kid?"

Wolf responded by falling over, landing on the ground with a dull thud. The recently-turned wizard had passed out. Cosmic Wizard sighed... this would take a while.

* * *

Wolf didn't know exactly what was going on... he was trapped in a hazy dream. Everything was like a swirling, blue storm cloud.

He saw images of his own life... and past life's? His ancestors? A blond man running through the desert with an assault rifle. Same man in same desert shooting a gargantuan turtle with a rocket launcher.

Concerned mother, climbing into hatch, small girl in her arms. Bombs, everywhere. Explosion. Death. Humans, gone.

Boy in bear hat? Brother? Fighting Monsters? Past, present, future?

Confused. Lost. Scared.

Finn? War? Hyoomans? Lub-Glubs? Bombs? Wizard? Death? Lone Wolf? Lich? Fight? Sword? Dogs? Penn Mertens.

Just a jumble of random words in a hazy dream.


	13. The Preliminaries

Wolf sprung awake, a blue, brilliant light blasting off his body. Cosmic Wizard, who was floating by his bedside, was blown back by the vast display of power.

Wolf sat up, shakily. He looked down at his hands, seeing how his skin was deathly pale.

"Well kid," complained Cosmic Wizard as he sat up, "-that was uncalled for."

"Sorry..." muttered Wolf, "-just had a bad dream, is all. I'm ready to begin my training.

Cosmic Wizard led him out of the bedroom, "Good, good. Then let us begin."

* * *

The sign in both had a long line of people. The man running it, Abra Kadaniel, was somewhat overwhelmed. He had worked the job for many years, but due to the high-stakes and fact that the tournament was in brackets, non-wizards could enter, tickets were cheaper, and concessions were sold, the stadium was packed.

Abra Kadaniel has always wanted to compete himself, but he needed the money. Maybe in a few years.

The pink wizard was brought out of his thoughts when a tall man stepped up. He wore a black, sleeveless tunic, exposing his pale arms. The tunic had a hood, which the man had pulled up over his pointed ears and blond hair.

The man was also wearing silver shoulder guards, each designed to look like his arms was jutting out of a silver wolf's mouth. He wore blue pants and matching brown leather boots and gauntlets. A beautifully designed, blue-bladed sword hung at his side.

The man stared at Daniel with his deep blue, pupilless eyes. Daniel could felt like he could just dive into those eyes and sink to the bottom, bathing in the enchanting blue.

"Aren't you going to ask me my name?"

The man's voice was rich and deep, and poor Daniel could feel his ears tingle. He saw a few woman behind the man practically swoon. Daniel gave an awkward chuckle, "Oh, yes, yes... what is it?"

The man rubbed his chin for a moment, before a small smile graced his lips, "Penn. Penn Mertens the Wizard."

Daniel smiled, handing him a number, "Oh, alright. I'll sign you up... here's your number..."

567. Before he left, Penn looked at Daniel, "Hey, has the Lich Prince come through yet?"

Daniel checked his sheet, "Oh, yes... he requested the number 666... I'm really not suppose to give out numbers people request, but he was really scary..."

Penn nodded, "Thank you."

* * *

The preliminary rounds, to save time, were divided into sixteen free-for-alls. Each contestant was randomly assigned to one, and after the fight, the last man standing would advance into the bracket stages of the tournament.

Penn's quick eyes darted from one contestant to the next... none would pose a threat. Ever since he became a wizard, not only had his physical and mental capabilities shot through the roof, he had the ability to see beyond... wizard vision. Down side is, he was having the oddest dreams.

The preliminaries were being held within a large, indoor ring. Penn went to go sit down in a corner, reflecting on past events.

'_Penn Mertens... I wonder what that name was? And why did I feel compelled to change my name to it?'_

A goblin broke apart from the brawl and heaved an ax over his head, attempting to get a cheap shot in on Penn and split his head open. The wizard caught the blade between his fingers, however, and tossed the weapon, along with it's wielder, out of the ring, never breaking his concentration.

'_What does it all mean? And who was that kid with the bear hat? My brother?'_

A stray arrow whizzed at his head, but Penn craned his neck out to the side at the last second, the arrow passing harmlessly by.

'_No, he's dead... along with the rest of my tribe. But, I'll bring them back. I'll stake my own life on it.'_

Before he knew it, the ring was totally empty, save for him and a large ogre, armed with only his gargantuan fists.

Penn sat up, eager to test his new limits, "Hey, buddy. I want you to hit me as hard as you can."

The ogre raised an eyebrow, "Excuse me?" he questioned in a thundering voice.

"You heard me..." said Penn, tapping his chin, "-sock me as hard as you can in my jaw."

The ogre let a sly grin spread across his face, exposing his rotted, yellow teeth. He spun his giant fist around, "Alright, ya cocky little prick! You asked for it!"

The ogre sent his fist flying, and it crashed into Penn's cheek. The wizard was budged about an inch back... but to the ogre's surprise, the wizard was laughing.

Penn folded his arms, laughing, "I barley felt that!"

The ogre snarled in rage, sending another fist at the ex-human. Penn leaned slightly to the side so fast he appeared as a mere afterimage to the ogre. The wizard then looped his own arm around the ogre's outstretched forearm. With a sadistic smile, Penn squeezed with all his might, completely shattering the bones in the ogre's arm into tiny splinters.

The ogre pulled away, screaming at the top of his lungs in white-hot agony. Penn threw his own fist at the green warrior's stomach, immediately breaking all of the ogre's ribs and rupturing his stomach.

The ogre fell to the ground, letting out painful chocking sounds and hacking up blood. Penn looked over at the stunned ref, "So, do I win?"

The ref slowly nodded. Penn smiled, "Sweet."

* * *

The announcer tossed his mike into the air, spinning around and caching it before pointing to the audience.

"Hello, Ooo!" he shouted, "-are you ready to RUMBLE!?"

The crowd went wild, pumping their fists into the air and cheering. The announcer pointed to a huge, floating board in the sky,"Allow me to introduce you to our 16 contestants this year!"

First, a man with light green skin and flowing blue hair appeared, "Sir Slicer!"

Secondly, an old man with a golden crown, long white beard, and light blue skin, "Ice King! Let's just hope he's as good as busting heads as he is kidnapping princesses!"

Number three was a woman with flowing, fiery hair, orange skin, and totally red eyes. "Flame Queen!"

Fourth was the man with a skull helmet and ram horns, "Lich Prince! Let's try and not judge him by the actions of his old man, eh?"

For number five, it was a figure in a white, round helmet with yellow, glass eyes. "The Scientist... he has chosen to stay anonymous for this tournament."

In the sixth corner, it was a woman with leafy hair, green skin, and a bandit mask. "Huntress Wizard!"

Next was number seven, a young woman with dark green skins, yellow spots along her body, and purple hair with a small skull in it. "Jungle Princess!"

In place eight was a pale young man with a black hood pulled over his blond locks and piercing, blue eyes. "Penn Mertens! Rumor is, he's an apprentice of the legendary Cosmic Wizard!"

For ninth, it was a robust ghost with a beard, "Bongo, from the Scream Queens! Hey, I love that band!"

Tenth, it was a werewolf with a humanoid head. "Tuff the Werewolf! He's from the Night O' Sphere, so he should be one tough cookie!"

Taking eleventh place was a man with a yellow, wide-rimmed hat, stubby nose, and green skin. "Magic Man!"

In the twelfth slot was a buff, green woman, "Muscle Princess!"

Spot thirteen belonged to a yellow bulldog in a fedora. "Joshua!"

Up next on the fourteenth slot was a gray automaton. "Whisper Dan!"

The Goblin King jumped up from the stands, "I swear to Glob, Dan, if you lose, you're getting spanked until you rust!"

The announcer coughed, trying to ignore the awkward situation, and pointing up to the screen, which showed a gray-skinned man with a stupid white haircut, "Up next, the wizard, Ash!"

"And last but not least..." the announcer said, pointing up to the screen, were there was man with glasses and a dirty blond beard covering his face, "... Wizard Bill!"

The crowd went wild, finally having a tournament they could sink their teeth into, not just comprised of a bunch of loser wizards in a huge hodgepodge that lasted 5 minutes.

The announcer lifted up his mike, "I know you're all excited; I am too! But let's get a word in from our sponsor!"

The announcer tossed the mike into the air, were it soared to the edge of the ring and was caught by Maxim. He adjusted his red-tie and shot the crowd a slick smile, "Good day Ooo... I hope you're all going to enjoy this! And to any wizard traditionalists frowning upon this tournament- in all honesty, they all blew."

The crowd all laughed, much to the annoyance of the Grand Wizard, who was sitting in an extra-large VIP seat. Maxim continued, "Anyway, please, keep up your loyal support of MaxCorp! I love you all!"

They crowd continued to lose their minds as Maxium handed the mike back to the announcer.

"OK... now lets see our match-ups!"

The brackets for round one appeared on screen,"Round 1: Penn vs Huntress Wizard, Muscle Princess vs the Scientist, Magic Man vs Wizard Bill, Whisper Dan vs Sir Slicer, Lich Prince vs Flame Queen, Ice King vs Tuff the Werewolf, and Josuhua vs Bongo!"

* * *

Beads of sweat ran down Huntress Wizard's forehead... how was she supposed to compete with that Penn guy? And she was certain it was that Wolf guy who had sworn to kill her... she saw what he did to that ogre, she was toast!

As if on cue, a chilling voice came up behind her, "Looking forward to out match, Huntress..."

She spun around, but no one was there... "Yep, I'm in deep." she said aloud to herself.

* * *

The eight year old Finn sat between his brothers, Jeramaine and Jake. Finn turned to both his canine brothers, "Hey, bros, whose your favorite? Besides Dad, I mean."

Jake scratched his chin, "Hmm... I'd have to say that werewolf guy... he seems pretty cool."

Jeramaine inserted his two cents, "Mines Jungle Princess... cause she's smokin'!"

Finn smiled happily, "Mine's that Penn guy."

Jake smiled, "Why, because his name sounds like yours?"

"No," said Finn, "-there's something familiar about him... and even though he's a wizard, he looks kinda human... like me."

* * *

**On an extra note, all of the contestants are actual Adventure Time characters, except for Penn and Flame Queen. Some of them are from the comics.**


End file.
